ConsentFEST - Halifax

Some history 

It was summer 2011, the SlutWALK movement was sweeping the globe and I was working in a rad sex shop, as a sex educator. I wasn't completely sure how I felt about SlutWALK because, as much as I like to protest, I wanted more. More conversation, more education, more inclusion. I lamented to a colleague that I wished we could have an entire week of workshops, panel discussions, creative opportunities and various other avenues to really discuss consent and everyone's right to their own body, sexuality and lifestyle (as long as it did not infringe on someone else's right to a consent-based life).

I went back to my computer, googled my idea, and found out that friends of mine in Saskatoon had already formulated a plan for just such an adventure, and were planning on incorporating into their SlutWALK. I emailed them, ask for consent to use the name ConsentFEST, and began to gather partners for the Halifax incarnation.

Avalon Sexual Assault Centre was the first partner organization, with Saint Mary's University and Dalhousie signing on a few months later. Venus Envy was an invaluable partner throughout the process, as they provided free workshop space and made it possible for ConsentFEST to host the amazing Jaclyn Friedman.

In 2012, Dalhousie and Saint Mary's University were once again major partners and contributors. Smaller discussions were held at other locations, including the University of King's College. As in the first year, many community partners were involved in bringing everything together, including the Anchor Archive, Hollaback Halifax, Stepping Stone and The Youth Project.

Fall 2013

The wheels have begun to turn and ConsentFEST-Halifax 2013 is currently in the works. As you can see, it takes a variety of individuals, community groups and socially minded organizations to create an event like ConsentFEST. If you would like to be a part of ConsentFEST this year, visit us on Facebook or post a comment and I will get back to you. If you want to participate but not facilitate or present, I promise to keep you updated as new partners join in and schedules are set. 

Be well,

Shannon  

Stranger Danger

So, there is a guy in the HRM right now, white male, 45ish, dark SUV, asking random children to get in his truck. Halifax Regional Police have put out a bulletin and are reminding parents to teach their kids to not talk to strangers

But I have a crazy idea- how about, instead of "Don't talk to strangers" we teach them "don't talk to sketchy people who ask you to get into their truck, if you've never met them and your parents or guardians don't know them"?

We need to talk to strangers- police officers are often strangers (ironic), bus drivers are often strangers, if you have never spoken to the lady who walks her dog past your house everyday, she qualifies as a stranger. But these are the people who may be able to help your child get home safely if they are in trouble. So, instead of "don't talk to strangers- end of discussion" how about we sort out the different types of strangers we may encounter, and who and who isn't a potentially safe person to talk to.

Because the notion of Stranger Danger is, well, dangerous.

We know that the majority of sexual assault are committed by someone known to the victim, we know the majority of kidnappings (of kids) are committed by a parent (of said kid), we know that when a women is murdered, their intimate partner is usually suspect #1. Strangers don't seem to be the problem.

Helping our children develop good instincts and allowing them to trust those instincts are good things. Teaching them that the world is not a scary place, full of terrible strangers is a good thing. The world is a good place and most of the people in it are good people. Most of the people in it are also strangers.

Women I'd Like to Have Lunch With-Mary Amirault

Although she was born in Bresaylor, NWT in 1888, Mary spent most her life in the Fort Pitt district of Saskatchewan. She followed her mother into midwifery and had an extensive knowledge of medicine and nursing.

Side note about Mary's mother-according to Herstory her unnamed mother, who was Métis, worked with Elizabeth Scott Matheson (from my last post). Small world huh? .... Actually it isn't that surprising, the birthing world was and continues to be a small and fiercely dedicated group.

But back to Mary, who worked throughout the flu epidemic of 1914-1918, enjoyed curling, and was said to be an excellent ball player. I like her already!

The most poignant part of her story, and the part that I would most like to talk to her about, is the part where she allegedly stopped delivering babies once a district hospital was built in 1941. I would love to hear her thoughts on the loss of traditional midwifery and when she felt women lost our faith in our bodies. Not all women and not at all times but I'm sure she watch an erosion during her career.

Mary died in 1977 and I wonder if she would agree with me that her entire life was one brazen posture?

Yours in curiosity,

Shannon

PS

The only online reference (I recognize I could go to the actual library but this is all I've got at the moment) I can find for Mary Amirault. If you know more please share!

Women I'd Like to Have Lunch With-Elizabeth Scott Matheson

Elizabeth Scott was born in1866 near Campbellford, Upper Canada. She became a schoolteacher at seventeen and briefly attended the Ontario Women's Medical College in 1887.

Elizabeth moved to Onion Lake, Saskatchewan in 1892 with her new husband and growing family. The Matheson's ran the only school in the area and in 1895 she decided to go back to medical school, at the Manitoba Medical College.

Now the mother of two, Elizabeth gave birth to her third child during the school year. To finish off her degree she re-enrolled in the Ontario Women's medical College and sat her second and third year exams in one year. She graduated in 1898.(a female doctor in 1898-now that's a brazen posture!!!!!)

Elizabeth then returned to Onion Lake to practise medicine-serving the community, the school and her own nine children. In 1901, as a result of her exceptional work during the smallpox epidemic, she was appointed Government Doctor for the Indian people. (because of the conversation started by that job title, Elizabeth and I are going to be having dinner together too)

In 1916 Elizabeth became the principal of the Onion Lake school and continued to be the community's doctor until 1918, when she became Assistant Medical Inspector for Winnipeg Public Schools. She held this position until her retirement in 1941 at the age 75.


Important note-

This series would not have been possible without the amazing book "Inspiring Women: A Celebration of Herstory" written by Mona Holmlund and Gail Youngberg. Thank you to them and all the contributors to the Herstory project.

This series will only be about women who lived in Canada. They may not all have identified as Canadians but I consider them Canadian heroes because they lived in Canada when their heroic deeds were done.

I have chosen to tell stories of women from all different ethnic, religious and economic backgrounds, not because I want to tokenize or co-opt anyone's story, but because the reality is Canada was built by women from a lot of different ethnic, religious and socio-economic backgrounds and I want to visit with them all.

Be well,

Shannon

The Quickie

There is a time and a place for hour’s long sexcapades but right now we are talking about 5 minute monkey lovin’.

1.      The first rule of quickies, everyone gets off. No one is left hanging and NO ONE is used as a masturbatory aid. That’s what sex toys are for.

2.      Speaking of sex toys…use them! Well lubed and well placed, that’s my sex toy motto. Use them separately or on each other or while having sex, it’s all good!

3.      Some people say it’s not a quickie if it’s pre-planned. Those people don’t have kids. Pre-plan! Have the lube and toys ready (batteries checked). Don’t wear underwear. Hell, get together with your day planners. If it means someone is going to be touching your naked bits, do it!

4.      Your brain is your largest sex organ so don’t forget to lube it up. Brain lube includes: thinking dirty thoughts all day, posting smutty sticky notes around the house (and reading them), looking at sexy pictures that turn you on.

5.      Location, location, location. If your bed has morphed from a love nest to a family nest move to the couch. Fenced back yards are always fun but then you have to bring the baby monitor and that might kill the mood. The shower, with it’s built in sound dampening and extra steam is an awesome quickie location.

6.      Do 10 kegels before hand. A few squeezes, coupled with a quick erotic fantasy, and you’ll be half way there. Tip: use Ben Wa balls for a little something extra

                                             

This column is dedicated to all the sexy mamas out there who have a baby who breastfeeds every 20 minutes or a toddler who naps so lightly the cat wakes him up or a 4 year old who can’t watch a 20 minute episode of Diego without getting up 45 times.

Women-Positive Porn

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Creating A Positive, Empowering & Mother-Friendly Breastfeeding Strategy for Nova Scotia

I hate complaining about something and not offering any solutions. And while my solutions often fall somewhere between "just hold hands and love each other" and "smite them all", I often come up with something that works.

So, with that in mind, here are my thoughts on creating a positive, empowering and mother & baby friendly breastfeeding environment in Nova Scotia.

First, let's start by acknowledging that statistics show that NS moms are great at initiating breastfeeding. However, we have a steep drop off at the 3 month mark (based on the Maternity Experiences Survey) and this is where our "problem" lies. To make navigating the survey easier I have included a link to all the tables within the survey, http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/rhs-ssg/pdf/tab-eng.pdf

In the paragraph above I placed the word problem in quotation marks because ,according to the stats gathered in this survey, maternal-care health providers in NS are not succeeding in our breastfeeding goals. The MES did not ask moms if they wanted to breastfeed after 3 months or why they stopped breastfeeding after 3 months. (I chose 3 mths because that's where our big drop off was, you can fill in any time period you'd like to)

I was going to comment on these omissions being the opposite of mother & baby friendly and were also kinda judgmental (to say the least) but I'll let you decide which questions would have been appropriate and how you felt about the survey itself.

I know the MES had set parameters and was designed to gather certain information and this is why it didn't ask every question I would have like them to. Perhaps, if we were developing a survey designed for a smaller, NS only sample we could ask questions similar to the two I proposed above.

Oh, would you look at that, I DID comment on the survey...

But I digress, let's get back to empowering mothers.

The very first thing that doulas, lactation consultants, nurses, midwives, doctors, Healthy Beginnings Home Visitors, etc. have to remember is this- the decision to breastfeed or NOT breastfeed, has nothingto do with us. When we bemoan our stats, when we bang on about breastfeeding long after mom has said no thank you, we are effectively telling her, and the world, that we don't believe Nova Scotian moms have the ability to decide what is right for them and their children.

Moms and babies have to be our guides, not the other way around. Given the opportunity every mother has the ability to intuitively parent, it is our duty to create a space for that opportunity.

Two notes: In the past I have made some ass backwards comments about a mother's ability to intuitively parent. I am both embarrassed and saddened by the knowledge that I was responsible for putting that crap into the universe. Please accept my apologies.

Also, the irony of chastising the medical community for being preachy and judgmental while being preachy and judgmental is not lost on me. I'm not going to change anything but I did want you to know I was aware.

And now back to empowerment, where it is time to leap into Shannon's imaginary world of Mom and Baby Friendly Nova Scotia. Are you ready! Jump!

First, let's explore a few things we could do to make the Nova Scotian breastfeeding environment even more empowering, positive, inclusive and mother-friendly.

1. Create milk banks or milk shares. If a mom/adoptive parent/single dad/grandparent want to offer their baby breastmilk, but can't for whatever reason, milk banks are a wonderful solution. Milk shares/banks are available in other jurisdictions why not ours? Banked breastmilk should be the second option available to caregivers, not formula.

The milk share program Eats on Feets is now in Nova Scotia and the Canadian Pediatric Society has just recommended milk banks be created across the country.

2. Comprehensive, up-to-date and cohesive training for everyone working with breastfeeding moms and babies. This covers the first 2 steps under the WHO/UNICEF Baby Friendly Initiative.

3. No breast pumps offered within 24 hours of birth. Encourage manual compression, finger feeding and feeding on demand. Educate moms and their support team on subjects such as when to expect your milk to come in, how to tell if baby is feeding while at the breast, breast massage, feeding on demand, etc. New moms need a baby at their breast, not a machine.

Let's empower moms from the very beginning of their breastfeeding relationship!

4. Lactation consultants and/or postpartum doulas available to all postpartum moms. This will create a non-medical, one on one, individual relationship.

5. Moms and their extended families leave the hospital with a complete list of breastfeeding supports available in the HRM. Breastfeeding Support in the HRM

6. At least 18 hours of breastfeeding training for student nurses and medical residents.

7. Encourage co-sleeping in the hospital. Educate moms and their partners on the benefits of co-sleeping. Here is a handout designed by Dr.Sears with research studies attached. http://askdrsears.com/html/10/handout1.asp

8. Educate mothers and their support team on the benefits of using a sling and/or carrier. Have slings available in the hospital.http://www.slingguide.co.uk/benefits.php

9. Optimal utilization of doulas. Public Health and hospital nurses are overworked and stretched to the limit. It is time to pull together and work as the comprehensive team we have the potential to be. So, just to be clear, USE DOULAS!

Here is an sample excerpt from my imaginary breastfeeding booklet:

Welcome to the world of parenting! At the [insert place of employment] we are here to support you in your birthing and parenting choices. We know that your breastfeeding relationship will be as unique and special as you are and we want to support you in every way we can. In this booklet you will find a list of community supports, information regarding nipple & breast care, co-sleeping  & babywearing information, as well as support tips for your friends and family.

Page 1- A complete list of breastfeeding supports available in the HRM. Breastfeeding Support in the HRM
In this list you will find peer phone support, weekly breastfeeding support groups, information about doulas (volunteer and private), a list of Family Resource Centres and much more!  (this is not part of the booklet but I thought it might interest my blog readers: here is a link to a study out of McGill on the benefits of peer support, it is not conclusive but it is a wonderful starthttp://highwire.stanford.edu/cgi/medline/pmid;20043705)

Page 2-nipple and breast care (including information on cabbage leaves, compression, nipple vs. breastfeeding, what engorgement will be like, massage, cotton vs. disposable breastpads, breast milk for sore nipples, etc.)

Page 3- co-sleeping is an important piece to a newborn's cognitive development and attachment, milk supply, sleep!, and creating a seamless breastfeeding relationship.

Page 4- baby wearing- everything on page 3 plus ease of use, nothing to fold up, much easier to bring on public transit, makes discreet feedings easier to accomplish (if discreet feedings are your choice)
Page 5- The "Call Me If I Can Help" page. This is a section for the names and phone numbers of people who offer to help. That way when mom needs help, she or her support person can open the book and find someone to assist in a matter of seconds!

For more information or to clarify any concepts I didn't flesh out please email me and/or visit the Breastfeeding Committee for Canada, the national authority for the WHO/Unicef Baby Friendly™ Hospital Initiative (BFHI) in Canada.

Another really great resource is the BC Baby-Friendly Network http://www.bcbabyfriendly.ca/index.html

A shift in birthing and breastfeeding practices has begun. More and more breastfeeding communtiy leaders are speaking out and saying "Breast is not best because it's incomparable". The word "best" implies that breastmilk is top dog in a baby feeding heirarchy but the reality is breastmilk CAN NOT be compared to anything else because it is in a positively singular category.

Breastfeeding needs to be in our cultural DNA. We need to support and educate whole communities not just individual moms.

Let's work together to make Nova Scotia a leader in positive, inclusive, mother & babyfriendly healthcare.